You’re not failing,
you’re becoming

If motherhood feels harder than you expected, that’s not a personal failing – it’s normal, and it’s a process.

Matrescence is the profound developmental transformation every woman goes through as she becomes a mother.

Through one-on-one coaching, I can help you navigate it.

Welcome to a space that’s warm, honest and free of judgment

Becoming a mother changes you — your body, your relationships, your sense of who you are. If you're feeling overwhelmed, like you're failing, or if you can't find a version of yourself that you know, you're not alone, and you're not broken.

I offer one-on-one coaching to help you make sense of this season, find your footing again, and feel more like yourself. I can help you live with more ease and a lot less self-criticism. I will listen to your story, help you reflect, and offer tools and gentle guidance. I will help reconnect you to your own wisdom and strengths.

“I came away feeling grounded, empowered and much more compassionate toward myself.”

– Laura

Coaching is a conversation

We meet one-on-one in person in Marlborough or online, for a 60 minute session. You tell me what's going on for you, I listen properly, and together we make sense of it.

There's a word for a lot of what you're feeling: matrescence — the developmental process you go through as you become, and keep becoming, a mother. You probably haven't heard it before. Most people haven't. But once you know the word, things often start to click.

I'm not here to hand you a checklist or tell you what to do; you're the expert on your own life. I'm here to listen to you, and to help you find your own way through, giving you information and tools along the way, if they're useful.

A woman with shoulder-length brown hair, wearing a white button-up shirt, smiling and looking at the camera, with a plain white background.

Kia ora, I’m Sarah

I'm a mother, matrescence coach and perinatal support group facilitator, based in Marlborough NZ.

Before having children, I had a successful career. I worked hard, mostly got things right, and felt like I had things under control. When I became a mother, all of that came undone. I didn't recognise myself. I felt like I was failing at motherhood, and nothing I tried seemed to help.

Then I came across the concept of matrescence and things started to make sense. I realised what I was experiencing wasn't a personal failing — it was a normal, human response to one of the biggest transitions a person can go through, made harder by how isolated and unsupported mothers so often are.

That discovery changed the direction of my life. I trained as a Certified Matrescence Practitioner with Matrescence NZ. I also hold a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Melbourne, and a law degree from the University of Otago. In addition to coaching, I co-facilitate perinatal support groups here in Marlborough. I have regular supervision to make sure I'm always offering you a safe, well-supported service.

I bring my education and my own lived experience to every session, because I know firsthand how hard it can be to admit you're struggling — and how much it can change things when you do.

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"Sarah provided a safe, judgment-free space where I felt completely seen and validated. I came away feeling grounded, empowered and much more compassionate toward myself.”

- Laura

Five gold stars in a row

“Matrescence coaching with Sarah gave me much needed understanding, nurturing and advice from another mother who has both walked the same path before and is educated and informed on the specific issues mums face.

Sarah was able to truly listen and help reframe some of the things I've been struggling with alone for months, that I felt I couldn’t articulate to anyone, but she instantly understood. I felt so much relief and have a fresh perspective after working with her. Thank you Sarah!!”

- Camilla

Frequently asked questions

  • “Matrescence” is the developmental process you go through as you become — and keep becoming — a mother. Just as children change as they grow, you change too: physically, emotionally, mentally and in many other ways.

    Most of us have never heard the word “matrescence” but once you have, what you're feeling starts to make a lot more sense. You can learn more about matrescence here.

    Sometimes the changes of matrescence can feel like challenges. I’m here to support you through those challenges. Sometimes it can feel like no-one understands, or wants to hear about what you’re going through. I do.

    During coaching sessions you tell me what's going on, I listen properly, and I ask questions to help you see things more clearly. I'll offer information or tools when they're useful, but you're the expert on your own life — not me. Together we’ll work out how you live with more ease and a lot less self-criticism.

  • No. I'm not a registered psychologist or counsellor, and I don't diagnose or treat mental health conditions. If we decide you'd be better supported by a therapist or counsellor, I'll help you find someone.

    If you require acute mental health support you should call 111 or your local Mental Health Crisis Team; relevant phone numbers can be found here.

    Other helplines you might find useful:

    Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757

    Lifeline: 0800 543 354

    Plunket: 0800 933 922

    Healthline: 0800 611 116

    Need to Talk?: Call or text 1737

    Mothers Helpers: 0800 002 717

  • Mothers at any stage of motherhood — pregnant, in the newborn months, or with older children. I especially love working with perfectionism, self-criticism and emotional overwhelm, but I'm open to whatever you want to talk about.

  • 60 minutes, in person (in Marlborough NZ) or online.

    I also offer a free 15-minute call beforehand, so you can decide if we feel like a good fit.

  • $140 per 60 min session. Payment is by bank transfer and is due on the day of the session.

    There is no commitment to a package of sessions. You may find that one conversation with me is enough to shift things for you, or you may wish to talk again. It is up to you.

    It might feel difficult to justify spending money on your wellbeing in the context of a weekly budget. But what price can we put on our emotional and mental wellbeing? In choosing not to get coaching, are you prioritising more important expenses, or are you listening to the voice inside that tells you good mothers put their own needs last?

  • No, you’re welcome to contact me directly.

  • Of course. I love babies!

Get in touch

Fill in the form, or contact me directly to book a free 15 min chat

Email: hello@sarahoconnor.co.nz

Text/call: +64 22 108 1722